*0*

After having to face it more than 10 times over 3 stages and a full decade it is still and remained still... Sure its easy in the place but it gets tougher and tougher...  Guess something never change... You get tired and the fatigue just grows exponentially as time proceeds... Burning the midnight oil is the usual habit when facing this kind of annual ordeal... Sometimes, the oil just runs out and you'll go blank which is the worst case scenario.... 

Have you guessed it?? Yup, final exams... Been stuck and nailed to my chair for more than 3 hours now, taken care off 2 and a half chapters ( hopefully ) and I'm running out of fuel!!!! OHH NOOO!!!! And to make it worst, the mart has already closed meaning I can't replenish my MP... urgh, should have bought something this evening... Regretting the fact that I was being stingy to myself... Yeah, TO MYSELF!!! I MEAN WHO DO THAT TO THEMSELVES???!!! Feel like shouting to the dark cold night... I'm sure the darkness won't be mad at me for doing so... Yeah, maybe I'll do just that... 

*you can ignore this... overwhelming stress...

'Lazy' me : Tomorrow is Sunday... Yay!! What should I do then??? Hmmm... Study... Nooo!!!! Damn... Its Sunday and I have to study?? sigh... 

'In the right mind' me : Its ok... Just a little bit longer... Plus you are doing this to achieve your ambition... You've gone too far to back off now... If you do, what will your parents feel about it and more importantly what will YOU feel once you realize that It was the wrong thing to do, quitting half way??? Do you even want to feel that bad feeling in your gut??? I sure don't...

'Now ok' me : Yeah, I should follow the second 'me'... OH YEAH!!!! 2 more chapters to go... COME ON!!!!

*real life monologue of mine... lol

till next time...

~tata~

My Loved Ones...

*look at the watch*


Been about 45 minutes I'm sitting on my trusty chair staring at my lovely laptop's screen... With the WMP ramped up to max... Clicking, visiting blog pages... Moment of silence... 


That's basically what I have been up to for the last 50 minutes or so... All that because I have this sudden urge to update my blog... BUT sadly I have NO topic... Despite being having a blank mind at the moment, I just can't rid this urge... So, think think think.... And at last, EUREKA!!!!! Now I know how Sir Isaac Newton were feeling when the apple hit his head... haha


I thought I've never, even once write about my family love... My appreciation towards their compassion to me... Its make me sad for not being appreciative... And so, this post is for my families... 


A sporting dad... Supporting, loving, responsible, strict, cool and not a smirch of doubt on his family... A person of hope, more than any people and I should know best.... That hopeful traits of his has always been the fuel for my determination... The spring that never wears out, pushing his children to greater heights than he can ever reach... Sacrificing all that he have for the sake of his beloved children and his lifetime lover... Nearly 3 decades, they've been together... Allah bless their  life and relation... This great man, my abah, was a strict man and I was always 'kena ajar' by him... With a good reason of course... Me and my sis dared not make him mad and so we always behave... Thanks to his strictness, I am what I am today.... We are what we are today... A great leader, leading the front line, the never ending journey... The quest of raising his own flesh and blood no matter their age... Superintendent of the family... My Idol... My DAD... Kasuahdi Ali   


A loving mom.... A calculative, reasonable, strict, beautiful, extremely capable, religious and everything nice... The most loving person I'll probably will ever meet... She'll sacrifice everything for her family, that I never doubt... Never take what is rightfully hers or you'll pay the price one way or another... The best cook ever... Making me drool now just by remembering her cooking... Aaah, how I miss her "ayam merah" and "ikan kukus" ... She's the one that you would want to consult about money management... haha.... She's seriously good with money management... A trait that I have yet to inherit from her... My worst moment in life is when I see my mom fell sick and there's nothing I can do... Maybe that is why I am so determined to become the person that every sick come to consult... So that I can help the needy, to help cure the sick... To serve Allah, to serve my Mom... My sweetheart... My MOM.... Nor Hayati Ghazali


My first friend... Sweet, crazy sometimes and funny... A portege' of my mom... The first born of the whole family... Loved by everyone... The cheerful attitude and the never say never attitude always affects me deeply... Strive me to better... I don't remember much about my life when I was 2-3 but i do remember the time when she was riding her bike and I was riding my baby tricycle... We clashed, I cried (obviously) and she lost 2 of her front teeth... Because of me, she went on about few years without her front teeth... Memories that I will never forget... My role model... My older sis... Nur Izreen Kasuahdi


The quiet one... my second best friend... my older sis' double... The first victim of my childishness and selfishness... I don't remember this but my mom told me that she fell into the drain when she was pregnant because I insisted that she carry me... And sure enough, it was her my mom was expecting... Her expertise lies in massaging... Out of the blue, she suddenly got this gift... Maybe Allah is being compassionate as always, grant this attribute so that she could always attend to the one that gave birth to her, to always care for both her "orang tua" and the elderly... She never complains about her issues, she's the type of person that will buffer everything that people throw at her without fail.... Thats how strong she is and people don't see this.. Good though, helps in the element of surprise... One day, people will look up to her... Just you wait... The one I will protect... My younger sis... Nur Aliaa Amirah Kasuahdi


The youngest... The golden child of the family, the pampered one obviously... haha... The youngest and so the least inexperienced... Never once she felt hardship, the sting of rattan and the lessons it brings and all those things that happens before the year 2000... The cute one should I say and definitely the fairest... One time, at my old house the neighbor would call her "jepun" coz she does have the look and skin tone... But she is definitely more than meets the eyes... Never underestimate her because she can really packs a punch... haha... Believe it, her brother knows best... Though all that, she is after all a girl and can never run away from being gentle and caring... I'm lucky to have her as my youngest sister... The fact that I had wished for a younger brother and It didn't came true really made me feel grateful because in the end I got more than what I've expected... Alhamdulillah... The one I will guide... M youngest sis...
Khuraisyah Kasuahdi


Never to be left out, my second family... Faris and his family... Through the decade our family came to know each other and grow fond, we have form a connection so tight that I know will last a lifetime... Mak Cik Naimah, Pak Cik Kamal, Adibah, Faris, Nina and Amir... I seriously wonder how my life would turn out have we not met... I guess we owe to your "ayam serama"... haha... All those memories will forever be engraved in my mind... I thank Allah always for arranging that meeting 10 years ago... 


Not a song can compare my love to my loved ones,
not a single poem can express my compassion,
not a single person can interpret my love for them,
no one can give me a better gift
no scale can measure my gratitude 
for the Almighty
for this treasure that He have entrusted me with.
I raise my hands to You and say
Alhamdulillah.